Why do I do the things that I do????

Yesterday; my day meant a trip to Des Moines.  Final planning for the School for Congregational Learning.  Come one come all....going to be a great, great day.

http://www.uppermidwestcc.org/2011/07/12/2011-scl-workshops/

The evening...a couple of meetings.  I arrived at the church to find two special folks painting my office.  What a special gift of sacrifical-servanthood.

I have been looking at their handiwork today.  I am so pleased with their talents.  One special outcome is in they covered up the holes and scars and blemishes (most of which I must confess credit).

That is life.  We have blemishes and scares and stains.  I shouldn't speak for all....so I'll just speak for myself.

One of my greatest shortcomings (that is sin...right?) is to cover up and to deny and to try to make excuses.  Inside me....the blemishes and clog drains of life and the broken attempts at living are there.

Let me think.....my list would be long -- perhaps yours in short or not at all; but mine....it is endless.

I want everyone to like me....so I sometimes do just to make others happy.
I struggle.  I stress.  I'm tired....tired of so much.
I don't feel like I measure up or meet the desires of others....
I ponder, more often than not, am I make any difference.
I shutter at the things I have said and done....I have let others down; I have hurt others, I have ignore God.
I struggle and hurt and somedays, wonder ....why do I do the things I do?  Why can't I be or do better.

And in it all....we put on pretenses.  We are not honest with ourselves or others.  Perhaps that is the greatest stain.

God, at least I believe, doesn't love us or go to such great extremes as the sacrifical gift of salvation in Jesus; because we look good on the outside; but perhaps we are real people, tempted to sin, and not always at peace.  He loves us, I believe; because he doesn't want to change the blemishes; but to transform the soul from chaos to peace.

Paul must have understood.  He wrote, "15I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. 16And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. 17As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. 18I know that nothing good lives in me, that is, in my sinful nature.^c For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. 19For what I do is not the good I want to do; no, the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. 20Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me....?  (Romans 7)


That is my predicament.  Why?  


Why?


Think about these things....